Stop Viewing "Single" as Alone

This is written for the following:

• The single, who hate being single

• The "happily in a relationship wanting their friend in a relationship too" friend (who secretly just wants to double date couple)

• The mother/ grandmother wanting children NOW

• That person who isn't a doctor, but still tells you that your uterus has an expiration date

• To anyone really who puts pressure on themselves or others, because they are not with another human!

It's not a race. It's not depressing. Fun fact, being single is not the end of the world.

If it wasn't so "sad", I would love to celebrate my anniversary of being single.

Actually, fuck it! I'm going to celebrate! Happy Single-versary!

So, if you want to get me an anniversary gift, it's July 9th. I'm just kidding, but if you see me drinking a mimosa Tuesday morning, or afternoon, or even the evening come join me! (Also, I have this date memorized not because I'm psycho, but because it was the day I moved back to Cali)

I haven't quite understood the negative stigma of being single. I've always hated hearing friends say "I need a man" or "I need a girl".

NO! YOU DON'T!

This time of not being alone, but independent, is filled with so many opportunities just waiting to be taken advantage of. Now, before those who are in a relationship get offended and say, "I'm still independent". Just know I do acknowledge and even applaud the amazing couples out there who keep a well balanced relationship between their significant other and their lives outside of that person.

There are so many reason to enjoy being single, but here are mine.

First, not having to coordinate for two. It's me, myself, and I so I ask myself what do I want to do? It's nice to not have to call in if I have to work late or if I'm going to join friends last minute for a drink.

I believe a lot of us fear doing things on our own. We like knowing that we have a guaranteed person to join us because they're "suppose to be there". It's as if we forget there are other people in our lives who share similar interests. If you need a refresher, they are called friends.

Second, dating can actually be fun. At least for myself it's been entertaining getting to know another person's interests, hobbies, and habits. It's also given me an opportunity to learn more about the person I am today and what type of person I need to fit my lifestyle and my future. Finding a life partner is like finding a house, you have to check off things on the list.

Trust me this list is longer, much longer.

There are more little and fun reasons I'm celebrating this year of being single, such as going on random trips to see old friends. Joining organizations to benefit myself and my community. Having the capability to just say "yes" and not "let me check". I even experienced the joys of dating apps to which I quickly learned that they're not for me.

However, lastly and most important, being single has given me more time to love myself. As selfish as it may sound, everything I've done in the last year has been to benefit myself in some way or form. As the saying goes "you need to learn to love yourself, before you can love anyone else." Which I hold to be 100% true.

However, I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified to share myself with someone when that next relationship. I am definitely worried to loose my time with friend or the ability to do stuff on a whim. I fear even more to lose myself in someone that I change who I am for them.

This fear is also the reason why I am still single. I'm not done being single. I don't want to give up what I've gained and I am still searching for that person who won't cost me my lifestyle, but add to it.

In all, if your single, live your best life. Don't see it as being alone, but being able to share yourself with family, friends, or just you. Just know that God, fate, or what ever you believe in is just waiting for the right time. And if you're happily in a relationship, continue to be happily in that relationship. We are so lucky to have the capability to feel love and share that with someone.

So here's to the good and bad dates to come, the times shared with family and friends, the adventures to plan, and the love to fall into.

Cheers to being Happily Single!