Please Don't Tell Me to Smile 🤬

I love to smile! I smile about 99% of the time, but I can not express how much it drives me crazy when someone walks up to me during that 1% and say “smile”.

I smile, but you bet it's the most condescending smile, because you gotta give the people what they want. If I was't so damn polite I'd really love to say,

I smile all the damn time! Let me relax my face!

Which is partially a reason I hate to be told to smile, but the real reason is a little more feminist of an answer.

For those of you who are not about hearing feminist comments, just stick around a little bit because I’ll make this “women empowerment” speech quick. If you haven’t yet noticed, those who say "smile" happen to be men, towards women. Personally I don’t think I have ever heard a man say smile to another man or a woman to a man (except for me when I say it ironically).

When someone tells me “smile” I really hear,

What ever unhappy emotion you are feeling, don’t show it.

Because women should always be joyful and showing a beautify smile, right? I've always been that person to hide my emotions behind a smile, but it wasn't until recently I realized, it's okay to not be okay.

It's okay, to not be okay

It's good and bad that we as a society are coming to realize the serious issue of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Good we are taking notice and defeating the stigma of mental health finally, but it sucks that it took a lot of us to have someone in our personal life affected or taken away because of a mental illness.

For myself it wasn't until I was about 20 years old when I experienced my first anxiety attack. It's almost indescribable, because at the time I didn't know what the hell was happening to my body and my mind. I didn't think anything of it afterwards, because throughout my whole life I was always taught to have that mental toughness and not let your emotions get the best of you.

To my parents, especially my mom now reading this who's learning about my anxiety for the first time, I don't blame them for installing that "don't cry about it" mentality. It's made me mentally and emotionally tough, but for me to accept my anxiety, that has taught me to be more aware of my emotions and mental health which I think we all need to do. It's allowed me to be okay with showing and talking about "how I feel", which again we all need to do.

Ladies, allow yourself to be mad

Sorry, not sorry guys, I wasn't done being on my feminist soapbox.

I actually just happen to come across a friend's post that said this. We as women, unfortunately are called out for being "emotional" when we get upset in the professional setting when men are seen as "passionate". To my fellow men reading this post, I'm just stating the facts that we as women deal with.

To my women who are afraid to show when they are angry or frustrated, allow yourself to show that. Just think of all the successful women you see in the public eye. Yes, in the headlines the words angry, soft, emotional, and more are being used to refer towards women, but these same women get shit done.

Now there is a fine line for anyone to show their emotions in a professional setting. I try to use mine to my benefit. Sometimes I'll allow myself to let my anger or frustration show when I feel I'm not being heard or taken seriously. There's something about it when the "always happy person" in the room is not happy with the business plan or results.

Sometimes allowing my emotions to show is empowering. I know for myself when I get emotional about something it's because I truly care about it. I'm passionate!

So to the next person to tell me to "smile", I'll smile but be prepared for what will come out of that smile.