Hashtag Curly Hair Problems

I'm the girl with the curly hair.

Photo Credit: Dorian Castro

Probably the most common way I use to describe myself to others. My curly hair has become a staple to my appearance and apart of my self brand. It's big, fun, and kinda crazy like my personality, but it has taken me along time to come around to accepting my hair.

As a kid it made me stand out and just like any other kid in school, all I wanted was to fit in and look like the other girls in my class. Also, to maintain hair like this, it takes a lot of work and my 10-18 year old self was not about all the combing, hair pulling, and mass amounts of hair product that cost way too much.

Let me just go on a tangent real quick on this hair product madness! At least for myself and some curly haired friends of mine, it's as if our hair is constantly evolving. You can use a $15 bottle of conditioning gel that makes your hair look hydrated and bouncy, but after a couple months it's as if your hair starts to reject the product. Now it's time try out three new products to see which one is going to stick for the next few months, before the cycle starts all over again. When I say my hair has a mind of its own, I truly believe it does. Finally I have found this miracle product that I've used for a year now and it still works!

Now back to telling you about my teenage self and how I did anything to hide my curly hair. I did everything I could from chemically relaxing my hair (which damaged my hair to the point I was loosing length) to keeping it up in pony tails or in braids until I was about 21.

Even when I started wearing it natural daily, I would always straighten it for special occasions. Especially when it came to interviews, I had this fear that I wouldn't get a job because of my natural hair. I honestly believed my hair wasn't "professional" looking. Instead I saw it as crazy and messy no matter how I styled it and I didn't want to be known as the lady with uncontrollable hair as my first impression.

It was not until I got a job and showed up for my first day to not be recognized with my natural hair, that I realized my hair was not a problem. It shouldn't matter that my hair is curly, or that my skin is brown, or that I'm a female when it comes to making first impressions.

Now I wouldn't say I'm completely in love with my hair. I still hate that humidity is something I have to plan for when styling my hair or that if I take a nap my hair shape if off, but I own the look more. I like that I stand out more and that I am recognized easily no matter where I'm at (yes, for the good and bad). I would say it's made my job easier, because clients tend to remember as the quirky curly hair girl.

A message to parents of kids, especially daughters, with curly hair:

Unfortunately, no matter how much you tell them how beautiful their natural hair is, they are probably still going to wish they had straight hair just like their friends. However, don't stop showering their hair with love, because maybe they don't hear you now but they'll understand at some point.

A message to my non-curly hair readers:

My lesson to love my hair is not just for curly hair people. If you have thin lips, big hips, no ass or boobs, or there's something about your appearance that the one shitty kid back in 5th grade that made fun of, stop hating what your mama gave you! If it's not hurting your health, be confident in what you got. Now if wearing foundation or getting spray tans make you feel more confident in yourself too, more power to you.

Confidence goes a long way in not only how others see you, but how you see yourself.

Lastly, I highly recommend the book I Am Enough by Grace Byers. Not only is it a great read for children, but can be enjoyed by adults as well. I got it as a gift for my 26th birthday from a friend who thought the girl on the cover looked like me. It‘s a cute story with a great message.