🙅🏽‍♀️ GOING IG FREE 🙅🏽‍♀️

I love Instagram, but I hate that I love it. As a enthusiast for my community, my job, organizations I participate in, and motivational quotes, my IG story is far from quiet. Not to say I have like 15 story post, because as a good marketer, you know people stop looking after 5 post. Sorry, but that's a fact and I fit right into that category.

Every now and then when I would go to my profile to go through my Archive, I would accidentally click my Activity. Not surprisingly I saw how much time I would spend on the app. I knew I spent a lot of time on my favorite app posting on my story, looking at posts, replying to messages, and constantly checking the story my crush that I'm secretly obsessed with (okay, obsessed seems scary, so let's say adore).

I started to notice especially when I was already in a stressful situation (work) that I felt this anxiousness when I would get a notification or I couldn't help myself from refreshing my feed to see if "he" posted anything on his story to reply to. I knew I felt anxious because I felt this obligation to interact or respond, and I would get into small disagreements or roll my eyes when my friend would say "you don't have to always respond or re-share ever post". I would argue of course I did, but never had a good reason, until now being a couple weeks free of Instagram to find I have an ADDICTION.

I think I've always known that I had a compulsion to be ACTIVE and in the KNOW, because I am even that way with my work emails and text messages. I never had the problem of being on my phone constantly when I am with someone or a group of friends. I'm not rude, but it's when I'm alone I would check it... constantly, but mostly out of boredom.

So in those moments I catch myself pulling out my phone with nothing to do, caught up on people's feeds, and the group chats with friends go silent, I would put my phone and Apple watch in my room and leave it there for a couple hours.

At the end of my break I felt relief and that I didn't have that urge to check up on everything. Doing this a couple times, I realized I needed to make this apart of my routine. So for Lint (time between Ash Wednesday and Easter if you didn't know) I told myself that I would separate myself from phone, watch, and computer for a couple hours a day. I will have to admit I have not done that everyday, as there are days I would hang out with friends after work or had a mixer or event where I needed to keep my phone on me to only return home late at night and go straight to bed without my tech break (sleeping doesn't count).

Just a week into that I realized I needed to separate myself more. So, I decided after my birthday I would temporarily deactivate my Instagram and delete my Facebook. To be honest, I'm not really on Facebook that often so giving that up doesn't really count.

Day 1 and 2 were difficult.

After checking my email on my phone I would close my mail app and my thumb would immediately go to where my IG icon was at and realize "WOW WAS I THAT BAD!?"

I PROMISE IT GET'S EASIER!

Day 3 I could really feel the difference. Not only did my FOMO decreased (somewhat, I was still curious to know what my crush was up to when he wasn't texting me), but I found myself more focused, especially at work and outside of work. I get distracted easily, so even hearing the chime of my emails or text messages while at work would be put me at a halt to take care of whatever someone was asking of me. However, I noticed that my compulsion to drop everything and check on that email or text was also not as strong.

By day 5, I was already thinking to myself, "I need to be on this break longer than a week. No, I WANT to be on this break longer." Honestly that was a proud moment for myself. I consciously knew I wouldn't be in the know of what's going on for the weekend, and I was okay with that.

WEEK 1: IG FREE

I can't believe I'm doing so well!

I was feeling pretty proud going into week 2, but who knew that only a few days later Fresno and all my hang out places would be shut down for the Shelter in Place policy after COVID-19 became a pandemic. So now I am spending my days working from home with group chats and conference calls to be my only outside interaction. I didn't even last one day, I had to have human interaction!

I kept my circle very small with workout sessions with Troy and Dorian (if you don't know who they are, look at my podcast page and you'll know). Also, made daily trips to the store for my family to notice apparently a human can live off of toilet paper and bottled water, not the stacks of peanut butter and canned veggies and Span.

SIDENOTE: If we were to actually go on a full shutdown, I feel very confident my family and I will survive because we buy practical items to live off of. Ten bottles of hand-sanitizer are not going to feed me!

I'M BORED! SOMEONE ENTERTAIN ME!

I almost gave in by day 4 of working from home, but I was actually scared to. I was scared to fall into my bad habit of checking my phone every five minutes, even though I'm sure everyone's feed is full of TikToks and "work for home" videos. I'm not missing out on anything, but I can see myself posting on my story just because.

What happens when we go back to normal life?

I fear loosing that productivity I had for a few days before the world halted. But after lots of thinking and planning, I'm ready to jump back in with some modifications to keep me from falling back into old habits.

• Turn off my notifications to my Instagram.

• Set an App Limit on my phone that keeps me to only using my social media apps for a limited time before I get locked out of them. Shout out to a friend of mine for showing that nifty little trick!

• Be okay with not being in the KNOW! Even if that means not know what "he's up to".

So if I don't reply to you DM, it's probably because I'm locked out of my app.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED AFTER THIS BREAK

Besides knowing I had addiction to my Instagram, I learned a bit when talking with friends and they'd ask "How does it feel".

Did I feel cut off? Yes, but the company of my circle of close friends and people who have my cell phone number kept me sane.

What I really found was how much I let people into my life. Which I don't exactly plan on stopping because then I wouldn't be blogging like I am now. I just plan on changing up what I post and because you've been reading FOR-EV-ER (voice of Squints from Sandlot) I'll leave that topic to a Part 2 of this blog.

If you've thought about taking a break, do it!